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| I used to always say that Autumn is my favorite time of year. While I love the weather and adventure of a new school year and the colors (while I may not be able to see all of them), I think I've changed my mind.
This is my favorite time of the year. Right now. When the weather changes and the sun is up longer. I think there's something to be said for waiting. We've waited through the long winter and the harsh snowy winds of January. We've waited through the holiday traffic and prayed for anyone and everyone we could wrap our minds around. We've waited through the gloom and dreariness of the winter. But there is hope, no doubt.
Of course there is hope! Now, it's a comfortable 70 degress outside. I get to roll my window down, throw the sunglasses on and crank up the showtunes for a drive in the mountains. If that's not beauty, I don't know what the heck is.
Theologically, there's something to be said about a good wait. Why should we always get everything we want exactly when we want it? If we never waited in line at Disneyworld we'd miss the conversations with the couple from Montana who came down south to thaw out for a few days. If we never waited in the ER we'd miss a chance to pray for the wife of a man, with three children, who would love to hear that his wife's cancer is not back, and that it's just a case of the flu that will be gone in a week or two. If lines in the grocery store were non-existant, where would we get to play a tiny game of peek a boo with the four year old who thinks the pack of gum in the candy display is the greatest thing to ever rock his world?
If you've talked to me for more than about five minutes at any point in time, you know I have a strong emotional connection to the Lutheran faith. One of my favorite aspects of Lutheranism is that Lutherans understand the importance of a good wait. We have Advent and Lent to lead us into Christmas and Easter, respectively. We understand that we must go through the storm to get to the calm. We're smack in the middle of Lent, and we are anxiously awaiting the coming of our Savior! We take the 'alleluia's and the major chords out of the service as a reminder that something big is yet to come. Something bigger than ourselve. Bigger than our cities or states. Something bigger than any of us could ever fathom.
I'm in love with my Creator, and I'm so excited to see what He does through each of us this Easter season. Some big things are coming up, and he's by our side through it all. | | |
| Songs don't very often make me cry. It just doesn't happen. i get
really emotional when I see something visually moving, but as much as I
love to sing it, it takes a lot for something to stir me so much to
tears.
Today, I used my $20 gift card to Best Buy to purchase
two CDs. I got How to Save a Life, by the Fray, because I know Rachel
Gentry loves it so much, and I also got Five for Fighting's Two Lights.
I was prompted to purchase the second one because I saw the video for
The World this morning and loved that song. But in listening I came
across the song called The Riddle, and I think it's changed my life.
Here's the second verse and second chorus:
Picked up my kid from school tday
Did you learn anything 'cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me
He said,
Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me
And Hey Dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world:
You and I...
Seriously,
that's brilliant. We all feel smaller than small. We all sing that
lonely song, and at some point in our lives we all just want someone to
come and play with us. It's basically a universal emotion; we can't get
through this alone.
I am confident in saying that He is the reason for the world, and because of His love you and I ARE the reason for this world.
Gah, such a powerful thought.
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Top 10 Reasons to be Gay....
10) The good gossip. ("Who from high school just came out? I KNEW he was gay!")
9)
Since most of your relatives either a) don't know you're gay or b) are
homophobic, you don't have to humor your mother by inviting 50
long-lost relatives to your commitment ceremony.
8) You have no reason to suffer through "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus."
7)
Watching the panicked look on tourists' faces when they step out of
their hotels and suddenly realize they're in the middle of the NYC or
San Francisco Gay Pride Parade.
6) "Gaydar". It's true: give us a crowd, and we can pick out who is and who isn't.
5)
Since you're not officially "married" to your partner, you don't have
to put up with your in-laws like they're your... in-laws.
4) If you have a significant other, the doubling of your wardrobe. Think instant cash savings.
3)
Your opposite sex friends trust you inherently with their relationships
and sex life. It's usually more than you want to know, but it makes for
good entertainment.
2) Birth control and emergency pregnancy tests. Never an issue.
1) You really do get a free toaster when you join! | | |
| It's funny, the older I get, the less self confident I become.
It's
funny that I came to college hoping to meet people who would teach me
things, listen to me, love me for who I am, and get me out of this
god-forsaken dorm room.
It's funny that I came to a state school because I thought the challenges would help to strengthen my faith.
It's funny that I left Happening because I thought it wasn't what I needed, only to be proven wrong.
It's funny that none of the above mentioned things make me laugh, or even smile.
I don't think I'm depressed. I think I just miss my friends, family, and church in Murfreesboro.
I
must say, the last few days have been better than weeks before. I got
to see my brother and his girlfriend for a bit today, and they always
make me really happy. Hopefully tonight I'll get to see Jeremy, who I
haven't seen in what feels like weeks, and that makes me sad because he
really is one of my favorite people in Johnson City.
I was
looking through facebook pictures today, and I don't know why I do that
because it always makes me sad. Sad that I'm not better friends with
the people from Happening. Sad that that part of my life is seemingly
over. Sad that I'm not receiving phone calls at 2 in the morning or
people to laugh and take pictures with. I don't know why I get so
nostalgic. I guess I just miss it. And them.
But, really
wonderful things are going on too, and I have to remain faithful. Thank
God for John, because he is the best thing ever. things are going
wonderfully with him, even though he thinks he's funny when he talks to
me in French from his online translater. he is awfully adorable though.
Everyone should know what it's like to be constantly in admiration and
awe of someone close to them. It's a good feeling indeed.
I
don't guess I have anything substantial to say. I'd really like for
Johnson City to become more comfortable. I guess I'm still adjusting. | | |
| "The second before I jumped, I knew where I needed to be...."
As a precursor, Songs for a New World is my new favorite show. Go buy
it right now. The quote comes from "I'd Give It All for You." And it
gives me goosebumps.
On to the good stuff:
I expected this week to be really hard.
I
went home last weekend and spent tons of time with the girls I ran
through senior year with, and completely enjoyed myself. I thought this
week would be tough, missing home and family and all the familiarity in
my life.
But God was like, HAH, here are tons of amazing people in your life who will make you smile.
Working
on this show has introduced me to all kinds of wonderful people. Last
night was one of the most random and yet entertaining nights. It's nice
to be around people who are secure in who they are and in their
friendships. Some people might look at this crowd as superficial and
shallow, but I think they're so much more than that, and I'm cherishing
these opputunities.
And I've met someone who makes me really
happy. Of course, we're in the beyond early stages of things, but he
makes me smile and let's me have my milkshake at 2 in the morning
without complaint, and in the end, what else do I need? [ EDIT: Since I posted this blog on myspace, he's also come to see me in Johnson City, and brought me a white rose. This kid is fantastic!]
Anyway, I'm a really happy kid right now.  | | |
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